Get Over It: Five Steps to Quickly Dissipate Anger

My son lost an entire school uniform today --- shirt and pants! I was pissed. Of course, I saw it coming and had lectured him to slow down to put his clothes in his backpack during P.E. instead of laying them on top and leaving them out in the open. This careless misuse of my money is not OK. I was furious! But at the moment, I needed to calm down so we could get through homework without drama. After letting him know how I felt about his cavalier attitude and what it will cost him (because I can't be the only one paying for this error), I excused myself from his presence to calm down. It needed to happen immediately, so I executed my five steps to quickly dissipate anger. The best thing about this process is that it does not require a confrontation with the other person.

1. Take three deep breaths and give some thought to the true gravity of the issue. Most of the time, anger is an inappropriate emotion. It's usually the result of mounting minor irritations that have been left unattended for too long. But when you really think about the seriousness of most situations, it ain't that deep.
2. Use knee-jerk aromatherapy. Inhale calming essential oils like lavender or chamomile. I don't even bother burning it or putting it on a cloth or cotton ball when I'm really angry; I just inhale it straight from the bottle.
3. Take a brisk walk. When I'm home and too tired to walk around the block, I pace around the yard. This releases endorphins that lighten and lift your mood. It doesn't take long - three to five minutes is enough.
4. Play and/or sing your favorite song. Click here to read my article about the many benefits of singing.
5. Clap your hands to the beat with an intent to be happy and joyous. Hand clapping loosens negative energy in the space around you when done with intention.

The next time you find yourself ready to explode in anger and want to get over it quickly, use these five steps. The entire process will take less than 15 minutes and your head and spirit will be clear and ready to move forward.

As You Are

"As you were" is a military command issued at the end of an exercise or drill. It means to return to your previous position. In life we perform drills and exercises that pump, prompt, push, pull and shape us into new beings. At the end, we are never "as we were," but have been given the opportunity to embrace and be "as we are." The command is a call from Spirit urging us to take a step forward and upward.

A recent encounter with an old friend helped me see how much I've grown. We met in elementary school and remained classmates and close friends through college. I used to visit her home often. She was the youngest child and only girl of three. Her brothers were much older and they showered her with love and protection. There were two working parents and a home that was well-kept and beautifully decorated. Visiting her home was like stepping into a family TV show. There was always a hot meal on the stove prepared by her mother. Her wardrobe was updated frequently and we'd play in her new clothes in the privacy of her own room. My senses were stimulated by the diverse experience of being in a different environment. Mine was a family of five in a loving single parent home. There was little privacy and the hot meal on the stove was likely to be of my own making. New clothes were not purchased to stay in fashion, they were bought or handed down as a necessity.

When we saw one another we squealed and hugged. Soon after there was an uncomfortable pause in our conversation. We parted politely without exchanging contact information or false promises about getting together.

This encounter was a blessed update on how much I've grown. When we are young, we are presented with people to help us grow into the beings we are meant to be. I was surrounded by incredible young girls who grew into phenomenal women. These are my lifelong friends, my spiritual sisters. Occasionally, people are peppered through my existence as mere vessels of enlightenment; to teach me something about myself. That was the role of this individual.  As youths, I was the butt of her many ugly jokes and rude comments. As young adults, she entertained parties of people by rehashing embarrassing stories about my past. When I spoke to her about this behavior and the pain it caused me, she laughed and said it was "all in fun." She persisted and I stopped spending time with her. There was no argument or confrontation. I simply made a choice and followed through. I defied the external command, "as you were," and stepped into the warm, welcoming glow of "as you are."

Life is a journey, not a destination. Every moment is filled with lessons, insights and opportunities to lighten our soul. Each second we are granted is an opportunity to discover and fulfill our life's purpose; to be dynamically as we are in defiance of the external prompt to remain "as you were."

Full Moon Celebrations and Rituals

The full moon on August 5, 2009 (according to the Old Farmer's Almanac) or August 6, 2009 (according to the US Navy) will fuel many conversations. As Earth's only natural satellite, the moon has captured the attention of scientists, astrologers, New Age and superstitious believers for many years. Scientists ponder the moon's origins and composition. But if scientific studies leave you wanting, join the thousands of people around the globe who rejoice at full moon celebrations. (read more...)

The Art of Taking

by Rhonda Kuykendall-Jabari

As children, we are taught that it is better to give than to receive. This is a good lesson for children, who tend to be takers by necessity and by nature. It begins in the womb. If a pregnant mother is undernourished, the fetus will rob her of available nutrients in order to survive. This is why mothers with low iron or other deficiencies can give birth to a healthy baby. It’s nature’s way of providing for those who cannot provide for themselves.

As we mature, we learn that giving is essential. We give to our jobs in exchange for the money we need to live. We give to the schools our children attend in hopes of securing a brighter future for them. If we're lucky, we give to our parents who so we may return the love and care they gave to us. Responsible, compassionate adults become such expert givers that it is as natural as breathing. But as years pass, adults give less and less to other adults. This leaves a gap in the lives of people who tend to over-give and under-take. So, like the fetus in the womb, we must return to the fine art of taking what we need to survive. It is assumed and expected that we know what we need and how to get it.

The art of taking is not a selfish act. Taking what we need to thrive helps us to be better givers. It also relieves others of the burden of giving us what we should be able to get for ourselves.

1. Take time to commune with your higher consciousness. It is a basic human need to be alone with our own thoughts and feelings. Technology has created an expectation of instant and constant availability that can prevent us from meeting this basic need. It began with pagers and has expanded to email, cell phones, social networks and handheld computers. We tweet, post, link and share 24/7. Take time to set healthy boundaries. My cell phone is usually off when I’m home and I may not even hear it ringing when it is on. I’m not so important that life as we know it will end if I’m out of reach; and neither are you. Take time to care for your physical body and your spirit. Realign yourself with what you’ve said you want to get out of life. Do it privately and quietly that you may receive and respond to divine guidance. Time is moving on and will end as scheduled for each of us. Don’t let time run out before you’ve finished the life God wants for you.
2. Take control of your personal resources. A resource has three main characteristics: (1) utility or usefulness; (2) quantity or availability; and (3) use in producing other resources. Each person has specific skills and assets that are useful to the universe. Money, love, wisdom, knowledge and abilities (natural and acquired) are aspects of your resources. It is important to understand and embrace your usefulness to the world. Be aware that you are not a bottomless well, so don’t waste yourself by giving to entities and individuals that do not or cannot give back. This is the only way you can make your unique and sustainable contribution to the universal energy that is inherent in all living things. It is how we remain connected to past and future generations.
3. Take responsibility for your life. This is the key to authentic empowerment. Stop making excuses and giving your power away. Stop hiding behind your children’s needs or your parent’s character defects. You are responsible for living up to your greatest potential. Be responsible for making sure you’re ready for every wonderful opportunity this life may offer. Be responsible for your successes and for learning life’s lessons along the way. Be responsible for putting a period on past hurts. Make amends, accept others’ apologies, atone and be accountable to The Creator who blessed you with breath, bone, flesh and this awesome experience we call life.

When we master the art of taking responsibly, lovingly, compassionately, we move closer the universal life source that sustains all of mankind.  Taking, then, is transformed into selfless giving.

Magnificent Manifesting

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-10)

While people may or may not agree with the Holy Bible or accept its authenticity, it seems most people believe in the power of asking for what we want from a higher source with an expectation of receiving. From The Secret to Buddhist chants, people make requests for everything from a new job to world peace. Manifesting or co-creation may take a few seconds or a several years. Of course, God and the universe are capable of working faster than the speed of light, so the time it takes depends on the individual. I genuinely believe that everything we desire is already here for us; we need only ask and act as if. I believe we can and (dare I say?) are meant to experience pleasure, fulfillment, and boundless joy on a soul level.

Six Tips for Magnificent Manifesting

• Turn off mass media. The word "Power" on a remote control device says it all. This button gives others (those who control mass media) the power to manipulate the public's view of reality using audio and visual bombardment. Use your own power and turn it off! If you're very brave, push away from the computer, too. Spend some time in silence as you determine what you want and need to be whole and happy. And if the silence gets to you, plug in an iPod playlist of instrumentals. Try this for 5 days and you'll be amazed and entertained by your ability to control your world.
• Eat more live foods (raw fruits and vegetables). Digestion is the complex process of turning food into the energy you need to survive. This process ends with the elimination of waste. Live foods digest quickly, easily and generate high quality energy. Processed and artificially preserved foods slow digestion and delay waste elimination, and they produce a lower quality energy. Higher quality energy raises vibrational frequency and enhances access to higher consciousness, which is needed for magnificent manifesting.
• Choose "do" words, not "don't" words; this goes for spoken words and thoughts. The universe does not recognize or acknowledge the negative --- like "not" or "no." Therefore, when asking for "no bills" or "no illness" or "no worries," it is transmitted as "bills," "illness" and "worries." Focus on what you want, not what you do not want. Try, instead, asking for financial freedom, perfect health and peace of mind.
• Focus on the "what," not the "how." God and the universe do not need to be told how to do what they do. I've made the mistake of thinking everything was about having enough money to buy everything I need and want. In the realm of all possibility, this is very small thinking. I've heard Oprah Winfrey say something like "God can dream a bigger dream for me than I could ever dream for myself." Focus on desired outcomes and you'll find that money flows as needed. Think about it...do you want money to buy a car or do you want a car? Do you want money to pay for medical insurance, or do you need access to medical care for you and your family? Do you want to have lots of money, or do you want to have all your needs and desires met? Magnificent manifesting requires that you keep your eyes (and thoughts) on the prize.
• Visualize, visualize, visualize and feel. Create a visual for yourself. Pictures and symbols help clarify desires and they intensify feelings. Imagine looking at a picture of your family. It's nearly impossible not to smile. The picture is a symbol of love, and the smile is the outward expression of the feelings generated by the thought of your loved ones. It works.
• Do your energy work! Explore how energy and light work may enhance your life and your powers of manifestation. Methods like reiki, EFT, intuitive soul healing and Qigong help people connect with higher consciousness.

Rhonda Kuykendall-Jabari is a talented and gifted Reiki practitioner and chakra balancer, owner of Wellness Uprising and creator of WU Revolutionary Self-Care products. To schedule a hands-on Reiki or chakra balancing session, call (323) 201-2193 or email Rhonda@WellnessUprising.com.